Every home should be a sanctuary. Coming home should give you a sense of peace and comfort. I know not every home is like that. I grew up in chaos, and continued living like that for some time. I honestly didn’t know how to create a home that felt like home. What does home feel like? I had a small idea. One time my mother took us to a safe house, to escape my abusive father. Even though I was very young, I remembered the owner of the house telling me that her house was safe. That no one could get to me there. I had never considered the fact that there could be safe places. Silly concept, but if you have never felt safe, then you don’t know what that feels like. Your body is just used to living in the fight or flight mode. I truly did have to do a lot of work to teach my body to physically relax. I didn’t even know I was living in that state. Ready to run at any moment. I didn’t know how to create a home, but I knew I wanted it. I wanted a real home. I was willing to figure it out, and make a change.
The first thing for me was safety. How do you create safety? For me, it’s not having to walk on egg shells. It’s not welcoming in my home anyone with negative intentions. I like my home to feel like I can be my authentic self, and I encourage my guests to be the same. No judgement. Some people are just negative. Or can be at times. Don’t tolerate it. Have standards, especially in your home. I do my best to not sit around the kitchen table talking bad about other people anymore. I would much rather talk about goals and creativity. I would much rather spend my time enjoying family and friends. Instead of speaking drama into the air. It sounds woo woo, but the things you say, and your actions create your vibes. You attract your vibe. So, if you spend your days in a negative vibe, that’s what you get in return. So, be cautious of what you tolerate in your home. Think of it this way. If you have small children, what are they absorbing? What are you teaching them to tolerate? They don’t have understanding of jokes. They hear the words and the laughter. They take things to heart. They hear what you are saying about others, behind there backs. That’s their truth. Everyone has their own perspective. We excuse a lot, because we feel like that’s just how it is. Or they’re family. That’s not an excuse. Be an example for your children. Take responsibility of your actions and what you tolerate. Teaching healthy boundaries is so important. We’ve taken that for granted. There’s no point in locking your doors to keep you safe, if you are letting the monsters in, or creating them.
Next, I decided to decorate. What did I want to be looking at everyday? What images did I want running around my subconscious mind? Plus, I had never really thought about decor. We moved almost every year as a child. My mom for sure was not decorating, or making every house homey. It was more like temporary living. Which for me was not living at all. I know some people love to travel. For me, I felt like I just wanted to be stationary. So, I started small. Picking out things here and there that spoke to my personality. I didn’t matter to me what others thought of it. I didn’t care if my color scheme was perfect, or if others would approve of my taste. It doesn’t matter. I’m the one who lives here. So, choose stuff that you like. Nobody else needs to understand it, but you.
I also made each room different. Why not? I like the fact that my living room makes me want to curl up on the couch with a blanket. Than I can walk into the kitchen, and it makes me want to turn up the music, and get cooking. I can also walk into office, and I am surrounded by things that inspire me to work. Things that make me want to get creative, and think outside the box. Using different colors, and setting a vibe in each room was definitely my goal. And I love it.
Next, keep it clean. Your outside world models your inside world. So, if you have stuff piled up in corners, it creates anxiety. You might think, no it doesn’t. I don’t even see that there. Do you deal with anxiety? Anxiety is just undealt with emotions. If you tend to stuff things down, you probably have at least a messy closet. One thing that I have learned on my journey, is the more I deal with emotionally, the more organized my house is. Why? because I value my time, and I’m not fighting myself anymore. I like to wake up and not see a pile a dishes from the night before. I could of left them. But, I know me, and in the morning see a dirty kitchen just ticks me off. I then have to start my day with chores. I would much rather go to bed with a clean kitchen, and get up to a slow morning with coffee and the sun rise. Being clean and organized make my mental health so much better. So, get rid of the crap you don’t need. It’s just taking up space. Get organized and make your life easier.
Now this is woo woo, but I know it’s becoming more common. Which I find hilarious by the way. Next, is sage your house. Saging is clearing negative energy from your home. Burning sage or palo santo is something that has been passed down from old religions. Native American, witches, druids, etc. Now a days, its something you see all over the place. Now most people don’t know there are ways to do this. I was taught to burn your sage from the bottom floor of your house to the top and out a window. But, you want to push the negative energy out of your home, So, you always finish at a door or window. Next, after you have cleaned the energy, you need to bring in positive energy. So, you will want to burn an incense, or candle. I also choose to burn sage while playing music. I match the music to the vibe I want to create. If I am clearing the energy as just part of my routine. I will play calming relaxing music. But, if I am getting ready to have company over. I will most likely play something upbeat. It’s all about setting the whole vibe. You don’t want to just clear the negative, but you want to attract the positive as well. If you hate the smell of sage, try the palo santo sticks. And, if you just don’t like the idea of burning. Maybe you are really sensitive to smoke. You can use salt water. It’s more time consuming, but works well. You can wipe down walls, doors, and windows. Trust your gut and follow your instincts.
I also like to have salt lamps throughout my home. I have crystals throughout as well. These items attract positive energies. So, why not have them by entry points where people are coming into your home. It helps clear any negative energies someone may have picked up during the day. Lots of times we don’t even realize it. I can tell now because I will walk in my home and instantly feel lighter. You don’t realize everything you come in contact with every day. Crystals are small and can be easily hidden. You can do small things to enhance the vibe in your home without having to seem weird. If that’s your concern. I’m weird, so I put a broom up over my doors. A broom over your door blocks out negativity. Same as witches bells. You hang them on your door knobs, and the sound they make clears energy. It’s the vibrations from the bells. So, do what is best for you. Maybe you are a Christian, so putting a cross up by your door will be a symbol of protection. Same concept. Just find what works for you.
What if you live with a roommates who don’t want you saging or putting out crystals? Get creative. You can make your room your sanctuary. Your car. Maybe its your front porch. Maybe its a bench at the park. Find a place that can be your safe place. A place that gives you peace. A place that feels like home in your heart. My home is not my only sanctuary. It’s about creating space for peace of mind. However that looks. There is no wrong way. Just find a place where you can be free with your thoughts. Without anxiety or angst. A place of stillness and safety. We all deserve to find our inner sanctuary. One day I hope we all have the advantage of walking into a home that we have created. Until then, find it where you can, and dream of the day you create it.
With loving positive vibes, The Awakened Bruja
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