I’ve heard many people describe their belief of what the ego is, so I figured I’d give you my perspective. For me the Ego is your viewpoint of self. What do I mean by that? Let me try and explain. You could say part of your ego is what you identify with. That includes your name, what you look like, your job, relationships. Everything that you can think of that makes up you is your Ego. It’s the part of you that you show the world.
Your brain is your processor. It is the part of your anatomy that is taking in everything that your body senses. Every feeling, everything you are visually focused on, every word you hear, your brain is just taking it all in and writing your program. As for the whole left brain right brain concept……well first you should know humans use all of their brain to some level. You just use it to the level of your development. The more you learn and adapt the better the thought process. I view the concept of the left brain right brain theory as you have two different energies. Masculine/Feminine, Positive/Negative, Emotional/Logical sides. However you choose to describe the opposite polarities of the human mind.
So, for me thinking through a shamanic lense. I view the self as a physical entity that is the living representation of my ancestors. My body is not what I believed it to be. I viewed myself as a woman who was emotionally damaged and broken. I had so many mental attachments that were not the truth of who I am at any given moment. I started to realize that my body was not just the identity I attached to it, but it was the vessel for the energies I choose to engage with. I could hold the energy of love or hate if that’s what I choose. I started to separate my physical being from my thoughts and in doing so they started recognizing each other. I started to see my emotional side as its own identity and my logical side as another. When I started to do this, I physically heard a voice say “I’m dying”. That’s when I started my journey of what some people call the Dark Night of the Soul.
The Dark Night of the Soul is what you would say hitting rock bottom is. It’s feeling mentally like your world is collapsing and you are grasping for reality. You start to see the world through a new lense. You are hyper aware and focusing on things you never realized before. It was like someone just turned on the light. All of a sudden I could see my own participation in the world. The good and the bad.
Ego death was like a slap of reality to the face. It was very emotional and trying, but also amazing. It opened me up to live a life of passion and creativity. I get to live a life creating instead of reacting. I get to learn everything that interests me. I get to experience all of life as it is. I get to exist right now. And I can choose to live a life with purpose for me and my family. I can make sure and leave them with a blueprint on how to overcome. I can be the love in their lives instead of searching for someone to be it in mine. Because in doing so, I realized I was surrounded by love the entire time. It was me not being able to see it.
Sending positive vibes to you and yours, The Awakened Bruja
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