For years I dealt with a mystery illness. My stomach was so upset all the time. I was constantly having bloody bowel movements. Nausea and diarrhea were an everyday occurrence. I was also having heart issues. My heart would jump, from going super fast to super low for no apparent reason. I had numerous nights in the ER and seen specialist, but never got any real answers. Every doctor only wanted to talk about one issue and not the whole of all the problems. I just kept getting more referrals to other physicians. Who would then be booked up, and I would have to wait months to get in. It was so frustrating being so sick and feeling like the doctors didn’t believe me, or think it was that big of deal. Like you can wait months to see me, then I’ll run tests and make you wait longer, then tell you the tests were normal and send you on your way. I was pretty depressed at this point. I knew it was real, but was left with no answers. Maybe it’s all anxiety. It’s all just me.
I had a lot going on in life with my family dynamic changing and a big move. So, with wanting to change my life for the better I started working on my mental health. I tried counseling off and on, but I could read the counselors, and didn’t have a whole lot of faith in them. Like your not telling me anything I don’t know. They were nice and it was nice talking to someone, but it just fell short for me. I knew they were knowledgeable, but felt like they weren’t really connecting with me. Hopefully this makes sense. I mean no disrespect to anyone in the medical field or psychiatric field. Whatever works for you is awesome! It just wasn’t my path.
I started doing what is called shadow work. It’s basically working with your feelings. Figuring out what your suppressing and emotions you have not dealt with. I believe that everything is energy, and if we are energy, then anything we suppress is just stagnant energy we are holding on to. We are not meant to do this. We have emotions for a reason and they tell us something about ourselves. Once we start to get to know who we truly are, and start loving ourselves then we can change our energy. We release the old crap and make way for the new. Ever notice how great it feels after you spend the day cleaning your house? Cleaning isn’t necessarily fun, but the feeling of accomplishment afterwards of a clean space is totally worth it. Or clean sheet day! Fresh sheets on the bed after a bath. Getting out of the shower and lotioning all up after you have freshly shaven. We have these moments of “yes queen!” You just feel good. Well, same concept. We need to clean out our own closets. Not being authentic to ourselves holds crap in and we ignore it until it starts coming out in other ways. Like anxiety or depression. It’s unfelt emotions and that energy is trying to push its way out, because at some point the dam has to break. Maybe that comes out in a moment of lashing out, or maybe it starts coming out with sickness. Inflammation is running crazy in people now a days and I feel like most people have some form of mental health issues. Is it all energy?
During my process of self discovery I realized that I was no longer getting nauseous every day, and my bowel movements were normal again. Things just started naturally getting better. I started looking towards more holistic paths. I tried the carnivore diet and cut out the crap I was feeding my body. Started doing yoga and meditating. I started actually listening to what my body was telling me instead of going to someone else for answers for my body. I’m not sure what actually happened, but I feel 100% better. I feel healthy. So if you want to call it a placebo effect or whatever. It worked for me and I know how desperate I was for help, and maybe somebody needs to know they do have power over their bodies. You can do something for yourself. Stop sitting around waiting for your appointment and take charge in the meantime. You can do both. That’s my motto in everything. You don’t have to completely change your lifestyle, but you can start trying new things and see what you enjoy. What’s the worst that can happen? You discover what you like and what you don’t. And guess what? It doesn’t cost you anything. I encourage all of you to discover yourselves. You are the author of your story and I hope you learn who you are and what makes you unique, and feel better doing it! Create something beautiful.
Wishing you all love and health, the Awakened Bruja
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