Religion

 Probably the most profound change in my life has been my thoughts around religion. I started questioning everything, and I honestly find truth in it all. I was raised Catholic but remember not going to church by middle school. I’m not sure what changed there, but my parents must have distanced themselves from their beliefs. Plus, about that time is when my parents split up. Either way, I didn’t go to church. Then I dabbled in Wicca. I had always had visions of seeing spirits. Waking up in the middle of the night with people at the end of my bed. I seen my Grandpa after he passed. I seen my sister after she passed. Stuff like that. I remember being able to go into really deep trance and be able to speak to the other side, if you call it that. Once I met my first husband it freaked him out so I stopped. Then I just sort of forgot all about it.

Once my sister past away I started questioning about life. We were told she committed suicide, and as a Catholic I was thinking does she really go to hell? After everything we went through here with my dad? She goes to something worse? I was pissed. I just couldn’t believe that God would do that to her. I needed answers. I then found a different type of church. Apostolic Pentecostal. I felt overwhelmed by a feeling of deep connection with God. I thought I was home, but in the end it didn’t feel right. I felt like being apart of the church was sacrificing my truth. That didn’t feel right either. Plus, in my mind, if God is real, would he send you to hell if you did something wrong? You either believe that your forgiven for everything so go crazy, or your constantly walking on eggshells hoping not to piss of the lord, and what about babies that die before baptism? I just don’t buy it.

So, life went on. After some time later, a divorce and a now, way better, marriage, I find myself questioning again. I have been Wicca, Pagan, Spiritual, Catholic, Apostolic Pentecostal, Christian, and a belief in science. I find truth in them all. I find myself deep diving into everything. Egyptian faith, Muslim, Hindus, Buddhists, etc. I started researching the dead sea scrolls and other books that didn’t make the bible. Why were only certain books put in? Did you know that the Roman Empire are the ones who founded the bible? The Roman Empire as in the political people in power are the ones who hand chose the popes and special councils. Then those guys decided what stories went into the publishing of the Bible and what got added. Why do you think the Bible ends with a curse, if any man adds unto those truths your cursed with plagues? Fear. Is God fear? I thought God was supposed to be loving.

So, I thought about Jesus. That is probably the biggest influence from the Bible right? Well, when you start digging into the dead sea scrolls and other ancient texts you learn that Jesus was learning from a group call the Essenes. They were more of a mystical Jewish sector. They also believed that women were equals in a time were that was not being taught. I’m sure that would be one huge reason for the Roman Empire to leave them out of the story. Plus with the way they treated woman, it’s not surprising they left out the Gospel of Mary Magdalene. Mary Magdalene not Jesus’s mom, but who was believed to be his girlfriend. His equal. Needless to say there is a lot to still learn.

I just feel like it’s time to start finding the truth. After having this Kundalini awakening, it’s opened up so many new possibilities. I’m connecting so many dots, and I can honestly say there’s truth in everything. It’s all about perception. I feel like every religion is saying the same stories. They all have a great flood and a man who God or the Gods spoke to and warned. They all speak of angels or great beings. One thing is for sure. We can choose to open our eyes to our surroundings or we can continue to go about our daily life asleep. Most people don’t question death until they have to face it. I get it. It’s all about perception. You might see yourself sitting on your phone just going about your day. I see myself typing this out as a living breathing organism on a living earth with energy frequencies all around us connecting each one. In a world spinning in space we are so small. Being that small can be scary or liberating. I like being small. There’s less pressure. I don’t have to worry about any big plans or feel suffocated by responsibility. I can just breath and exist. Finding the small joys going about daily life. Making a living playing and looking for magic in the every day. Knowing that I have faith that the universe has my back, and it will all turn out just the way it is supposed to. It’s crazy, and really funny, how much has changed for me. I’m extremely blessed, and feel so much joy around me. I can only hope that each of you reading this finds your truth and your peace.

With loving vibes, the Awakened Bruja